Hello

Hey

2012-02-03T04:22:00.000-08:00

I should be studying for my practical test this coming Monday, but well I've decided to update this blog even though i recently blogged. Also, this practical test is about practicing skills which i hope that i had enough practice for the test on Monday.

Have you ever felt something towards someone but you hardly know him or her and you know that you can never have them in your life because it's never going to happen? Long winded huh? Well, for some reason, you feel it for a moment and then you told yourself that it's just a temporary feeling that will fade away. But, what if it doesn't? What if the feeling stays? Hmm, so much to think about eh when you've already had someone attached to. This is what I call distraction. You can never believe in that because you have to tell yourself that it's never going to happen. Even if it does, it's never going to work out. But then again, finding a soulmate is in the hands of Allah, we should just leave it to Him. ;)

Anyway, it's the study and exam weeks for me, I bet for you too. So all the best for your exams! Study smart alright? You can do it! ;)

I guess that's all I have to write about, it's dry but I hope I have the motivation to write better in the next entry. Thank you for reading though. <3

Forever

2012-01-20T06:58:00.000-08:00

You might be very familiar with the phrase "Nothing last forever", but why is there such a word forever? Maybe the phrase should have been a little bit clearer if "on earth" is added to it. Then it'll be "Nothing last forever on earth". Even the clothes you bought, the pants, shoes, headband etc, it won't last forever, sure it will last long, but it won't follow you till the afterlife would they? It's like it also has a lifespan you know, like the process of worn-out.

Well, for most of us, we use the word 'forever' as a metaphor. We use it to describe the most happiest moment in our lives, especially love or some other things. But then somehow it's a very strong word that involves the emotions. We hold on to their words, and then get very disappointed when forever became 'lasted'. Get it? Oh well, I'm just blabbering my opinion though.

Life is full of surprises. When it knocks you down, what matters is how you get up without blaming anyone or anything or yourself. When it lifts you up, what matters is how you're going to maintain that and not to be an arrogant, but a role model to all. I know, this part has nothing related to forever, but it's something that worth contemplating for.

Right, I should stop here. It took me a week to write this entry because halfway through, I lost it and then I tried to continue writing today. So, here it is. Nothing much, not long, but do have a thought. ;)

This is it.. It's 2012..

2012-01-01T18:30:00.001-08:00

No, I did not go countdown like how every teen would do every year. I went only once in 2009, counting down to 2010, with baby of course. Well, that's when our relationship just started and it's the 'honeymoon' period whereby it's perfect in our eyes, as he described it.

Now that we've been two years, a lot of things happened, I meant a lot. Laughter that describe happiness, cries that describe sadness. At the start, as I mentioned earlier, it's the 'honeymoon' period whereby everything goes well, minimum fights. Even when we fight, within a split second, he would apologize, even though it's my fault. However, as time goes by, whoever is at fault, should apologize, of course, that's the way we live. That's how it should be.

Girls, or should I say ladies. When they have a boyfriend, they tend to tell everything to him, their problems etc. It's like, he's your boyfriend and bestfriend too. Well, that's the mindset of ladies. But boys? Or men? When they have a girlfriend, they tried to be their girlfriend's listening ear, even sometimes they didn't respond, at least their girlfriend have taken things off her chest. However men, tend to hide things which is unhealthy to a relationship. But then again, if they're made to be this way, who are we to change them right?

It's 2012. What is my resolution? To become a better person. That is just a broad phrase, but I have some things in mind and myself that I would want to correct before it's too late. Sacrificing is bliss if you're sincere at heart. ;)

2012

2011-12-31T16:20:00.000-08:00

So today is the last day of 2011. Time flies so fast, even if you're not enjoying what you do every single day, but look at the time, year. It's happening so fast. It feels as though you were counting down yesterday to 2011. Well, counting down doesn't matter. What matters is, are you ready for 2012? It's not about the resolutions that you've set. Because i believe that every year, you hoped that the year after is better than the year before. Well, it's going to be better if only you worked towards it. By just saying, wishing, it won't work that well, you have to put an effort and actions towards it.

What does 2011 had for me? Challenges. Happiness. Joy. More challenges. Emotional. All these expressions are just words. But words do live on even when we're gone, right? Well, every time if i feel down because of certain reasons, i would tell myself that there's someone who feels much worse than me. But then again, know that Allah won't give obstacles that you can't overcome. I've not been a good person in 2011. Of course, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. However, weaknesses have always shown the best of ourselves. So how are you going to show your strengths then? Well, it's all on your mind, you just have to believe in yourself.

I have not been meeting my friends lately, i have not been a good friend to any of my close ones and i apologize. As much as i want to meet you, our schedule seems to be so tight and clash with things that are more important to us. It's hard to plan for meet-ups with those busy schedule, but always remember that i did not forget about you. You're always close to me, i promise. ;)

So what should i write here? Ah, 2012. I am certainly not ready. But then again, i still have to face it because time won't stop just for me. Time just keeps ticking and ticking and then the moment you knew, you're counting down to 2013. It will be very fast. Well, 2012 is not here yet, i shall not go far to 2013.

Whatever it is, Happy New Year to all of you. May it be a blessing year for you, perhaps? Takecare. I'll update again soon.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday in Seoul

2011-12-24T07:04:00.001-08:00

Hi! I'm here again to update my blog while waiting for baby Nash to come back from jb and to online.

So on Thursday on the 22 December, it's a whole shopping day. We went to different kind of places to shop, we even went to the face shop which I was like 'err', haha. Then we went to the duty free shop which i wanted this long champ sling bag so badly but I didn't buy it because it's expensive, it cost about US140 which is about 170$ Singapore dollar, :(. Then I coax myself, haha, pathetic, I know. So yeah, went to 3 or 4 shopping places including the mentioned above.

So yesterday, I think we went to the kingdom palace or was it on thursday, I can't remember. The moment we reached, there was a ceremony, I was lost at first, then I understood, it was the changing shift of guards ceremony. They were like marching to position themselves and there were music that they played. It was interesting, that's something I didn't get to see, haha. Had a tour around the palace, huge, it's like a temple shape. Managed to get a tour indoor in the museum whereby the tour guide explained everything in simple terms, haha. Everyone is very happy if we get a chance to stay indoors because it's chilling out there. After that, went to another amusement park called Lotte World which was bloody packed with korean students because it's their start of the winter vacation. Didn't managed to ride the desired rides and my eldest sister was pissed, haha. There was a ride that I assumed 5 years old took with their teachers that I personally think it didn't suit them because there was 2 slopes that gave a pressure to your tummy and you scream. The slopes was short but I think it's dangerous for them because there wasn't any security belts, just a bar for them to hold, even the bar I think was high for them. I felt scared for them and we were like 'then how the kids managed to take the ride?'. Well, it's just an opinion. We spent 5 hours in there and then had dinner and shopping again, hehe.

And today was free and easy day. What did we do? Shopping! Till our money burnt! Haha. Just left few for emergency, hehe. And we too the subway, the station names are aliens to us. I bet if others have a tour in our country, they'll feel the same way too. But they have so many subway lines. Lucky there were English guidance. We didn't get lost, thank Allah.

That's all for this post. Tomorrow's last. Flight at midnight. See you! Miss you very much! Hehe.

Seoul, South Korea.

2011-12-21T06:18:00.001-08:00

Hello everybody! Hmm. I'm still in Korea for my holidays. It's my 3rd day here. Of course, it's very very cold, even though I wear durian gloves and 4 thick clothing including winter jacket. My cheeks turns red when the cold wind blows into my face. My fault too for not wearing a face mask, hehe.

So on Monday, we went to Nami Island where it's supposed to be a romantic place for couples, haha. And for those who watch Korean movies, ever heard of Winter Sonata? Yeah, they shoot the films at Nami Island and it's gorgeous in reality. I didn't watch that Korean drama, but I saw the snapshots of the film at the island. It's very beautiful even though it didn't snowed when we visited there.

Yesterday was Tuesday. I can't remember what we did in the morning till dinner. But I could remember what we did after dinner, ski! But it's a thrilling for me because I was scared like a kid. I only went down the slight slope twice. First, the instructor guided me. Second, it took me hours to go down with the help of the others, they even went down a lot of times, haha. And then, I couldn't control so I made myself fall, haha. And my thigh muscle was very painful! I managed to get up after 10 minutes? With the help of my sister. After that, I stopped because the ski boots is very bulky and tight! I couldn't walk properly, I had to take mini steps.

And today, we went shopping for about an hour, I only bought a long sleeved shirt because the things there are quite branded and expensive too, :(. It's ok, there's more shopping in days to come, hehe. After shopping, we went to strawberry farm whereby we get to pluck one strawberry and eat, very sweet! Gotta bring home that one. The last activity of the day is Everland which is known as the theme park. Well, it was very big and didn't manage to walk all the parts, even though we're given like 3 hours? Ish. The rides there were thrilling! I was the one who like screaming when the rides were going on. Ish. So, where did we go? Zoo, haha, see the monkeys, they are kind of intellectual. Some of other animals are too. There was an Anaconda snake too! I thought it would be like 'Nagini' in Harry potter movies, voldermort's snake, hehe.

That's all for the three days! I'm here at the lobby because there's wifi here but not in the rooms, :(. Gotta head up soon and sleep! The time here is 1 hour earlier, have to wake up at 5.30am Singapore time, which means 6.30 here.

Anneyong! ;)

December

2011-12-17T12:25:00.000-08:00

Its already mid December and I haven't been updating for quite some time due to my 2 weeks attachment. But then again, i'm going away tomorrow night for a holiday and be back 7 days after. So my holidays are somehow packed, only a week left to enjoy before start of school, no, not enjoy, because i have holiday homework and projects to complete before the start of school, :/.

It's already December which means that a new year is going to unfold in 2 weeks. Time flies so fast, too fast i guess. In blink of an eye, I'm going to graduate from polytechnic and work and earn own money. I really do have a dream of going to a university and get a degree and all after poly. However, when i think back, when will i then earn my own money? I can no longer depend on everyone around me, maybe it's time for me to be independent. Talking about that, i feel like i'm already old enough, hmm.

Other than that, i really don't know what else to write here. Till here then. <3

Holidays baby!

2011-11-30T23:36:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, my last common test paper was in the evening and it ended! So relieved. However, not looking forward for attachment this coming Monday for two weeks. Well, it's going to be a fast one for me because, i'll be going for a holiday right after the attachment. I'm so ecstatic because it's been so long that i hop on a plane to have a holiday. Finally, i'm going to a country, not far though, its still in Asia, i guess? Haha, sorry, my geography sucks. :P

Ok so, i do not have a proper topic to talk about right now. I just don't have the inspiration yet. Maybe if i see or heard something that amuse me, then i'll write. Meantime, i really do not know what to blog. But hey, do visit my girl friend's blog, she have very interesting entries that you'll enjoy reading. Her link is at the left hand corner, under 'Blog affiliates', just click on 'Zubaidah'. She's my best writer, hehe, <3.

So, wait till the next entry! :D

Sorry

2011-11-17T20:20:00.001-08:00

I'm supposed to update my blog last week but I was too busy to update my blog. Gosh, I should spend ample of time blogging, I don't want it to be dead like last time. Well, I'm trying my best now to update regularly.

I'm supposed to continue with the previous post, but I really forgot what I wanted to write, it was at the tip of my brain but it slipped off. I'll try my best to write whatever that's relevant.

Oh right haters. Haters exist because they are the ones who makes human beings become stronger. Sure, they do hate certain people, for an example hating or disliking on people based on characteristics, behavior and the most stupidity reason is sometimes haters do not know the reason as to why they hate on a particular person. It is also known as "I just don't like your face" even though that person did nothing wrong to you. I find this immature because you are supposed to do good deeds in life and all you did is to find problems that did not exist in the first place. So what do haters get in the end? Absolute nothing. They love to badmouth about their enemy to others and influence them to hate you too. This is what I call 'evil whisper' or 'evil talking'. True, badmouth may be common but it won't happen if you won't find fault with another. Sometimes it made you feel good talking bad about another person but it doesn't bring any advantage to you. You will be pissed and so forth but the person that you hate on is living a peaceful life because he or she do not acknowledge your hate. I bet you haters lose in the end because you get pissed off for nothing.

Hmm, quite a lengthy post. I shall stop here. I'll update soon, I hope. Love you!

Haters, get a life.

2011-11-04T08:57:00.001-07:00

Hello! I hope you have a great time reading my blog, :). As this is going to be the start of a long weekend, I'm going to post something that I would like to share, just a little something of my opinion about haters.

What do haters do? Why do they exist? How are they leading a life? Can haters be identified easily? Or they can just be quiet but vigilant in their planning to break apart someone's else life? Hmm.

I am very sleepy now and I think I would fall asleep while typing this from my itouch. But, I really want to share what I think haters are. I'll keep this post short and sweet.

Ok so. Haters, do they have a life? I meant the people that wanted to break their life apart is mostly celebrities. These haters are smart in a way that they can spread a rumor which makes the world go a little crazy and have so many doubts. However, the down part was, the celebrities that they hate on happens to be very famous and have millions of fans. Seriously, how can the haters win over millions of supporters? Haha, good job haters, you always missed that point.

Thats the celebrities part, to implement that theory in an ordinary life, I'll continue in the next entry.

So, till then. :)

What to do

2011-10-30T07:24:00.001-07:00

My facebook is down for maintenance, I really don't understand why it only happens to my account. And i've been trying to log it in for the past 6 hours. It's ok, I'll try to be a little more patience, but I really can't! :( ok, shall wait. Lucky I've downloaded twitter and blogger application in my itouch, I wouldn't be so bored, would I?

I really have nothing to say right now. School is interesting. Lots of things to be done, lots of things coming up after tomorrow. Tests and assignments and group projects. Brain tired, that's what you'll always get if you allow your brain to work at it's maximum even though it demanded rest. Ahhh, happens to everyone I supposed? Procrastinating, yeah, it always happen.

For an example, now. I'm supposed to study for my Tuesday test but here am I blogging and whining about not being able to log in to facebook. Yeah, it's unnecessary but it's a social network! Hehe. I have yet to study for Wednesday test, and the topics that I have to study is heavy! :/

Ok should stop complaining right now. This is life, it's a phase of life, you have to go through it no matter what. Remember, seeking education is a must. All you have to do is to work hard, pray and leave it all to Him. <3

From the bottom

2011-10-28T20:15:00.000-07:00

My intention of switching on the lappy now is to do a research on a group project, but well, i just have the urge of updating my blog. I shall make this entry short because i bet you readers, wait, do people read my blog? Oh well, anyway, as i was saying, i shall make this entry short because i bet your eyes are rolling from reading such a long entries from me for the past few ones.

Right, i should start what i intended to write here.

So, everyone started off as a greenhorn right? When someone is beginning to start a career, with little or no experience, and is willing to start from the basic, isn't that a stepping stone to success? Or should i say, stepping stones to reach the top. That's us. When we have already reach the top, we forgot where we started off. We tend to always held our noses high because we're so called "expert" at doing the basic things and able to handle more critical situation. But when asked to do the basic things all over again, we forgot, because our mindset is "it's for the beginners, not for me". Wake up! You were once a beginner too. No use having high status in a career when all you do is mock and act arrogant towards others. Sure, you worked hard, but where is your attitude? Did you leave it behind when you had reached the top?

It's like you started off as a baby, not knowing how to crawl or talk, all you do was cry. But as you grew older, you learnt how to crawl and slowly walk unassisted. Ahh yes, learn, that's the word.

So what i'm trying to say is that, when you have reach the top of career or anything, just don't forget what helped you through the hard times when you were at the bottom.

Photos in 7 countries

2011-10-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

7 countries in 7 hours.

2011-10-21T22:58:00.001-07:00

I'm supposed to update this entry like last week, but I was distracted by other things in my mind at that moment. Now I've uploaded the blogger app in my itouch, so I wouldn't have to switch on my lappy everytime to update my blog. Unless I want to put pictures, which I wanted to in this entry. Ahh, troublesome. But nevermind, I'll jus write what I wanted to write here.

So, see the title up there? Haha, really, I went to New York, Hollywood, Sci-Fi city, Egypt, Far Far Away castle, Madacasgar and Jurassic park! Hehe. You can do it too at USS! I really enjoyed myself there with boyfriend. It's our anniversary gift from him, even though our anniversary is next month, but still, I love him, <3. Thank you so much baby, I really had so much fun going with you.

Ok so, we took a lot of pictures, which I hope I'll post in the next entry. And our first thriller ride was the mummy ride. Damn it was a thriller! Haha. Felt that my heart was ripped off. Seriously, if you didn't have heart problem before riding, I think you'll have after riding it, hehe, no lah, not to that extent, but depending on your age. My boyfriend, Nash, was so cute. He was laughing and giggling when we got off the ride and said "headache seh. There's many more to ride how?". Well, he didn't sound cute here, but he did in reality, hehe. Of course lah I wouldn't say he's ugly, hehe. And then after that, we didn't ride anymore roller coasters, thanks to the heart-ripping mummy ride. We did watch a lot of shows, my favorite was the shrek 3D because it has water splashing at your face and the seat was jerking, hehe. We went in twice, the second time, there were only plenty of us because its already 6pm, it was pathetic but I still enjoyed it. At this point of time, I found a camera under the seat. So I went through the pictures to find the owner. And we did near the entrance. Haha, I'm so glad that I did the right thing, hehe. Ok so, took a lot of pictures with different characters and I felt like a kid again, hehe. Well, once a lifetime thing.

As I borrowed a camera from my sister, we managed to snap a lot of pictures, like a lot. It's like everywhere we go, I'll be the one asking boyfriend to snap, because it'll be a one time thing and I'm making it as a memory, hehe. Who knows they'll change some things. I felt so blessed to at least being able to go in there to have fun. Even though only once, I felt grateful, looking at my financial now. So yeah, it's not a must to go, but you could feel the atmosphere at the country over there even though in a small area. Overall, I had a blast.

Thank you baby for bringing me there. I really appreciate it. I love you so much! Hehe. And of course, I love you too, yes you, the one that is reading my blog. Hehe.

Till then, Atie.

Leave it all to you.......

2011-10-16T20:25:00.000-07:00

I had a 3 hour religious class just now and it taught me a a lot of lesson. Don't worry, i won't be talking about my religion, instead i'm going to talk about the things that is happening in our daily lives. The bad things, perhaps. Haha, I won't give a pep talk, don't worry. It's just my opinion and i would like to share. I wrote this entry's title as "Leave it all to you" simply because it's up to you to decide what you want to give this entry title as. :)

Ok so.. I should start by saying this word, jealousy. So, what will your mind be thinking right now? What are the words that appear in your mind just seeing the word jealousy? Hatred, grudge, anger, and not to forget evil! Jealousy itself is a broad word. You can get jealous because someone is better than you at let's say, in education, or job scope or appearance. And sometimes this jealousy can plant hatred or grudges in our heart. The common one will be, you get jealous because your boyfriend or girlfriend talks to someone and they are comfortable with each other. And there you are, hoping that your boyfriend or girlfriend notices your jealousy and hoping that they coax you for the things that you imagined them to be. When the fact that there's nothing between them, they were just talking. Just because of this evil feeling that you had, you started to judge, or say things that others didn't do. Why would you want to complicate things when they are already simple? Yeah, it's the evil voices, they could just intrude your mind anytime. So, what to do then? Well, you can't stop the evil voices from intruding, but you can stop the voices from continuing further, fight it, hmm. I'm not sure how, but the common one is, pray. :)

I wouldn't say that I've never felt that way before, everyone do. Not only the boyfriend/girlfriend jealousy, but other types of jealousy too. Example is like wealth, you're jealous that someone is wealthier than you till you have a plan to bring that person down. Or when someone's work status is higher than yours. What will you get after you succeeded in bringing someone down? Satisfaction? Guilt, perhaps? Ahh, true, but why waste your time bringing someone down when you can take it as a motivation to climb yourself up? Still, you will have satisfaction, in a good way. Isn't that better? Hmm.

Well, all i wanted to say is, if you have hatred or hold grudges in your heart towards anyone, it will destroy you, inside. Because with that just one black dot that you've implant in your heart, it will spread and then eats you up. So, don't hold grudges towards anyone, it will kill you.

Another long entry, haha. I will try to shorten the next entry, :). I know that you'll get tired reading such a wordy entry. Hehe.

Till then, take care!

Life.

2011-10-16T00:50:00.000-07:00

I've been on this blog dashboard for over an hour and only now I'm starting to write. I was watching tv, yeah tv's a distraction. Now that there's nothing interesting on tv, i should start blogging. So, I've decided to start blogging again, frequently maybe. Because there's this one person who inspires me to write, hehe.

Ok so. What do you do for a living? Are you a famous person? Or just an ordinary ones? Then what do you do in your life? Have you found out the real you or you're just plain following the flow? Are you still trying to please everyone around you because of attention deprived or you just earned it? Do you specifically dislike someone just because he/she has the thing that you don't? I wish i could list out more but i just couldn't find out the words to say. All this, is what you call life. It's imperfect and that is why you have the word "patience" in the dictionary.

Yes, everyone would say "I have limits" because we're all humans. But how do you know that you have reached your limits? When you can't stop thinking about something that's been bugging you for weeks, months or years? Or when someone or something has triggers till you blow up? Honestly, why would you think of something in the first place if you knew you would get mad? True, there must be something that makes you think about something, but you could control your own mind, couldn't you? Ok, i should stop having these question marks and get to this point of what i want to blog here.

Everyone knows that it is neither easy nor hard to lead this life. If you have the passion in what you want and have specific plans to work towards it, then it won't be hard. But hey, don't forget that life isn't as smooth as the sailing ship, it could be like the titanic somewhere in the middle. And if you have faith and believe that you could overcome the obstacles, then you will be just fine. Well, sometimes while overcoming these obstacles, you might hear voices in your head telling you to "give it up". Just so you know, it's the voices of evil and obviously you shouldn't follow. Try to shrug those voices off because the outcome will be a miracle. We need evil to prove to ourselves that we are stronger and able to defeat it. Without it, we wouldn't know our strengths and weaknesses. And we would live in a fairytale. But hey, fairytale do have evil too, like the stepmother and stepsisters in cinderella or the witch in snow white and the seven drafts. Then again, in fairytales, the couples live happily ever after. Sadly, we couldn't relate that.

I think i write too much here that I'm afraid no one will understand. Haha, too bad. At least i updated my blog. I wanted to write about something else though, but then, i shrug off that evil voices in my head. See, I could do it, you can too! :)

Till then, AtieZac. <3 ya!

Oh by the way, i was supposed to wish Nash our monthsary today. Actually, it's on the 15th. Oh well.

HAPPY 23rd MONTHSARY BABY! I LOVE YOU!

#16, 13October2011. Jealousy and Insecurity

2011-10-13T20:00:00.000-07:00

Enjoy our story.. :D

Mind racing, thinking just what went wrong.

She tried searching for answers, but to no avail.

Need she speak up her mind or just keep quiet?

She hates what's happening but she can't do nothing

to change it without saying something stupid.

What's that thing she's feeling? Jealousy?

Fish it, she hates that feeling.

She didn't ask to feel this way.

Those words just pierce through her heart.

She didn't want to show it.

She just keep it to herself, just as always.

Her heart was torn into two.

She knew so well this feeling,

but never did she think she'd feel the same way again.

Her heart was screaming to just trust again,

but she's afraid.

Afraid of being let down again.

What's the cause of all these?

Why did she let herself feel this way?

She knew...

She knew deep inside her heart that she had let go of the past.

But it's still haunting her.

She didn't want this!

As strong as she is,

there's just some things that still controls her mind.

Insecurity; that's how she feels.

It shouldn't be this way.

All she have to do is..

Patience.

Let time do its thing.

And hold on a little tighter.

Copyrighted by Zub and Atie. <3

:)

2011-10-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

Last updated here: June.

Now: October.

Haha, sorry guys! Well, not active here, but active at tumblr. It's kinda easy to manage tumblr as i have to only reblog what appears in the dashboard. So, over there will be full of pictures, quotes. Will still update here though, let's say every few months? Haha. You don't have to know about my life do you? Hmm. Let's say that everything goes well for me, nothing much to say. ;)

So until then. Takecare everyone!! <3

Oh by the way, my tumblr url is www.atiezac.tumblr.com. Do visit alright? And do follow if you know me! Hehe, thanks!

Much love, Atie.

Holidays

2011-06-27T23:20:00.000-07:00

Hello. Do anybody read my blog? Hmm. Nevermind, its ok. As long as it's still here, it does exist, hehe. Ok so, my holidays is here! Ive ended my 2weeks attachment in a hospital and feel that it flies so fast. That's a very good thing because my clinical instructor is very kind and helpful and friendly and attends to our needs. And thank you so much to her that i got a B+ for the clinical attachment grade, trust me, i was jumping with joy in my heart, hehe. Yeah, thats my highest so far. Alhamdulillah. That gave me the motivation to work harder in the next attachment, hopefully the colleagues are great and easygoing, :D. Looking forward to the next attachment as it will be an exciting one, :).

Holidays. Supposed to be a relaxing and enjoyable period of time. But, i have assignments due on the first day of school when it reopens. How unfair is that? Sure, i have 2 weeks to finish it, but im a human too, need rest and fun, right? Hmm. But, that holds my academic weightage, i cant see it fly in the mid air just like that. Im going to make sure that i finish it before the school reopens, of course. Well, im supposed to complete one of the assignments by tonight, but well, ive decided to blog, let's say, taking a break? Hehe.

I miss my bestfriends and you. Yes you. Haha. If you know me and i know you, yes i miss you, and i hope to catch up with you soon, hehe.

Takecare and I'll write soon.
Love, atie.

Im here..

2011-05-28T21:45:00.000-07:00

HEY! I know, its been a month plus that i didnt update. Well, just lazy to update, hehe.

Ok so, school so far is ok. Im starting to bond with my classmates. At start, i felt isolated, but after some time spending time with them, i felt welcomed, haha. Well, im meeting my close friend too, Aqilah, usually during lunch and thats when we catch up with each other. Ive yet to meet Rabia and Sean for lunch, because we dont have the same lunch break timing, its kinda sad. But we do bumped into each other, but thats like only few minutes, but its ok. That few minutes, managed to chat, hmm.

Things with myself and Nash are getting better. Our love is better, stronger, deeper, any other words i could use? Hmm. Yeah, though we do still have fights in between, i do love you more than anything baby. Knowing that you'll be away again next year, maximum 6months, i really dont want him to go. I really want him to just stay in Singapore, be with me always and also with his family. But he chose this path... Maybe he couldnt foresee that he met me in future and fall in love with me deeper each day when he chose Marine Engineering. Well, couldnt blame him though. Whatever it is, whatever obstacles that we've been through, we're still standing strong. And I Love You Muhamad Nashrin.

Ive been updating about Nash havent i? Haha, sorry, my love for him is inevitable, hehe. I love you! Ok i should stop. Update soon! :D

Second year

2011-04-18T19:10:00.000-07:00

So school started today, first day of the semester and also the start of my second year. Though there's lesser modules, but it seems heavy and stressful. But well, all i have to do is take each module seriously as i want to score well in all. To tell the truth, i was a little lonely today because my close poly friends are not in the same class as me. Well, i got to mix around with my new classmates, got to open up my shell, you know, im shy and dont talk much, haha. But really, im shy, hehe. Well, looking forward to make more friends, :D.

So, Nash will be coming back this thursday! Im excited but upset at the same time because i wouldnt be able to meet him as i'll be going off to genting at night. I was even thinking of backing out at the last minute, but well, ive already paid for it and it'll be a waste, so i hope that time flies fast for me. And he's fetching me at jurong east interchange the night i'll be back from genting. I really cant wait to meet him, need a big tight hug from him because i miss him so much. And of course, i love him so much too.

Oh well, thats all. If i have anything to blog about, i will, haha. But well, i dont update much do i? Hmm. Well, enjoy reading! Haha. Takecare everyone who reads this blog! :D

Baby off to sailing

2011-03-07T00:35:00.000-08:00

Yeah, Nash will be going off this thursday and will be back 6weeks later i think. That is when my weakness will show and be at its peak, get it? Haha. Well, i cant stay weak can i? Got to pull myself together and be strong because he's not going forever right? He'll come back for sure, Insya-Allah. But well, to fight the feelings of loneliness, its tough, but i have to right? Its his jobscope, i have to accept it if i love him so much. But well, i dont know. But i will get use to it because he'll be sailing for the next 10 years or so. Thinking about him going off this thursday, makes me begging the day not to arrive, but he has to go, i couldnt think of my happiness only. Well Sayang, i hope you will gain as many knowledge as you can while you're on board. And i hope that you will be thinking of me as much as im thinking of you. Remember me always, and i love you so much..... :D

Lack of update

2011-02-21T22:15:00.000-08:00

Hey! Sorry for the lack of update, haha. Feels like my blog's dead, well, nobody wants to read my blog, haha.

My first paper for the final exam is this friday, i did my study but im not satisfied yet, i have to frequently revise so that it will stay in my mind till the day of the exam, hehe. One module which i yet to start, pharmacology, i feel threatened by the module, but i am going to start studying earlier this week, :D. Im aiming for As because im aiming a GPA of 3.5 and above. Insya-Allah I can do it.

So, baby's birthday is coming, what should i get him? Hmmmm. Im short of mooney though, i dont think i will get my allowance next week, :/. But its ok, this week's allowance im going to save to buy him something valuable, hmm, what should i get him? Any suggestion? Hmm.

Alright, thats all people! Will update soon alright? Takecare!

2011

2010-12-31T21:40:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYBODY!
May 2011 be a better, blessful, blissful year for you.
Love, atie.

Back for more, i hope

2010-12-19T17:00:00.000-08:00

Haha hey. Sorry that ive abandoned this blog for some time. Well, i dont think people would be reading my blog, because my tagboard is so dead. But well, this is my blog, so i would just update lah. So ive finished my 2 weeks of attachment. It was fast and i enjoyed working in the morning shift, apart from having to wake up way early in the morning. The reason is because a lot of things have to be done in the morning, so yeah. I honestly cant wait for 3 years to pass, so that i could get diploma and Insya-Allah pursue a degree in what im interested in, of course, i wont be continuing what im doing in my diploma years, haha. I know, it would be a waste, but as long as i have the diploma, i could pursue a degree in other areas, Insya-Allah.

2011 will be here in about two weeks, time flies so fast, i couldnt believe it. For a minute, i was counting down for 2010, then in two weeks time, i will be counting down for 2011. It was fast, time flies very fast like a lightning that strikes on earth. My wish for 2011 is, to be a better year than 2010, haha, every year seems to be the same wish for me. How about yours? :D

Ive been with Nashrin for 13 months and still counting, hehe. Im so excited for our relationship, because i hope and Insya-Allah, we will last long till the end of the world. I love him so much that i wanted to be with him everyday, every hour, every minute, every second, haha, im not exaggerating but its true. When you love someone so much, you would feel the same way too. You wouldnt want to let go. Its like the love between you and the other party is so strong. So strong that words or expression cant describe it. I love you Nashrin.

Braces off!

2010-11-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

Yes! Im free from braces now, hehe. Well, I wasnt that excited to remove the braces because Im so used to it, even though its only 21 months. I miss wearing it now, i miss getting food stuck in between my braces, hehe. However, im on permanent retainer at the back of my upper and lower teeth, so, I still have food stuck in between my teeth, but now its at the back, get it? Hehe. I promised myself to take care of my teeth like its the key to my life, because I wouldnt want to waste my dad's money. I wouldnt let the money just flew like that.

Hmm, so, 10 November is coming, which means? Hehehe, you should know eh, :D. I'll write another entry soon alright? Takecare! See you!

Hey

2010-10-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

I havent been blogging for such a long time. Im having attachment now, so I would feel exhausted everytime I reached home. Im sorry people, besides I didnt know what to blog about, hehe.

I miss my bestfriends, I know they're busy, the fact that we were separated and had to go to different ways, but I knew, deep inside them, they would think of spending time with me. Its just that, its so difficult to make time as everyone has their own free time, :(. If you guys are reading this, I would like to apologise if I hadnt been a good bestfriend to you or hadnt been making time for you, Im sorry. Promise, I will contact you guys if I have the free time. You know, I know, I love you all, :D.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

2010-09-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

Finally, the day that all Muslims have been waiting for, well, mostly the kids actually, hehe. Hari Raya is here! Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslims! Maaf Zahir dan Batin. Forgive my wrongdoings towards you. May this year's syawal be a better for you, :D. But.. Lets not forget the ones who had left the world into another that provides them the best things that they need, :D. May this joyous festive season be a special ones for them too.

So.. SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

Fasting month

2010-08-19T17:55:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, I would like to wish all Muslims Selamat menjalankan ibadah puasa. May you do good deeds during this holy month, don't miss a day without fasting, then you would not be able to celebrate Hari Raya, hehe. Apart from the girls who have a reasonable excuse, hehe.

So... Life has to move on. Accept the fact that everyone will leave this world peacefully, no one lives forever. Trust yourself, or tell yourself, never to be depressed or grieve for the rest of your life. Because the person who had left the world, no matter how close you are with him, would be feeling the same way you're feeling. All you have to do is to be strong, pick yourself up again and move on with your life. True, you would be feeling grief for a few days or even weeks, but sooner or later you would ask yourself, "how long I'm going to be like this?".

Yeah, that's all I'm going to write. I'll update this blog soon ok? Takecare, see you soon.

hey

2010-08-06T19:02:00.000-07:00

Hey. Sorry for the lack of update.

Am going through a hard time. Someone who used to take care of me when I was young, is gone. He has came back to where he belongs, to Allah. From him he was alive, to him he came back. His favourite dish, Mee Rebus. Everytime I bought for him, he would ask me to take some. I thought I could take care of him during my holidays, but......

Five years ago, his wife came back to Allah, on the 2nd October. Yesterday, 5th August, he came back to Allah. Insya-Allah, they meet again in the hereafter, Amin.

Term 1's over

2010-06-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

Term 1 is over, and i felt it was fast. Next term will be a short term, 4 weeks of learning so much things, thanks to the YOG for taking away our learning time. Projects due in term 2, remaining two weeks of holidays will be taken away to do the projects, poly life, oh my.

This is what Zub and myself wrote last thursday, 10June2010. This can be found in our facebook, under notes, it has our other stories too, i hope you feel it and enjoy, :D.

Title: Torn

Why weren't you there for me physically?
Why would you be there for others except me?
Why couldn't you see that I need you the most?
I'm not as important as the others?
I see..

You said that you'll be here for me.
You promised, but you never were there.
Now I see, I can't trust on you anymore to be there.
I believe you..
All the pain I keep inside, you don't know..

No matter what I did, you don't bother, you don't care..
The feelings you had for me before,
I couldn't see it or even feel..
It's like, you're someone else.
I don't feel you anymore..

Ever since that day..
I made myself believe that you hadn't change.
I push that thought away.
I stayed strong for you, my feelings real,
fighting for the love we had.
But you looked pass all that.

You took me for granted..
You pretended that you care..
You pretended that I'm the only one for you,
when you have backups..
You cheat my feelings!
How could you?!
When I'm deeply in love with you?

My heart tells me to stay,
but my mind tells me to go.
I don't know what I should do.
I can't stay and I can't leave.
Baby, give me a sign.
Please. Don't leave me hanging.

by Zie & Atie.

Justin Bieber- Never Let You Go

2010-05-21T19:22:00.000-07:00

oohhh noo, ohh noo, ohhh
they say that hate has been sent
so let loose the talk of love
before they outlaw the kiss
baby give me one last hug

theres a dream
that i've been chasing
want so badly for it to be reality
and when you hold my hand
then i understand
that its meant to be

cuz baby when you're with me
its like an angel came by, and took me to heaven
(like you took me to heaven)
cuz when i stare in your eyes
it couldnt be better

so let the music it blast
we gon' do our dance
bring the doubters on
they dont matter at all
cuz this life's too long
and this love's too strong
so baby know for sure
ill never let you go

i got my favorite ~~girl~~boy
not feelin' no pain
(no pain, no pain, no pain)
oh no, dont have a care in the world
why would i, when you are here
theres a moment i've been chasin
and i finally caught it out on this floor
baby, theres no hesitation,
no reservation by taking a chance and more
ohh noo, because

its like an angel came by, and took me to heaven
(like you took me to heaven)
cuz when i stare in your eyes
it couldnt be better
(i dont want you to go, no no no)
so let the music it blast
we gon' do our dance
bring the doubters on
they dont matter at all
cuz this life's too long
and this love's too strong
so baby know for sure
ill never let you go

its like an angel came by, and took me to heaven
(like you took me to heaven)
cuz when i stare in your eyes
it couldnt be better
(i dont want you to go, no, no, so)

take my hand, lets just dance
watch my feet, follow me
dont be scared, ~~girl~~boy im here
if you didnt know, this is love

let the music it blast
we gon' do our dance
bring the doubters on
they dont matter at all
cuz this life's too long
and this love's too strong
so baby know for sure
ill never let you go

Hey

2010-05-13T08:50:00.000-07:00

Hey. I wanted to open a topic to write here. But it doesnt mean im writing about you or it meant anything. So here goes.

Sometimes i wonder... Is it wrong for one to love someone too much? Its just love, one didnt do anything else, its just the feeling. But that someone couldnt accept it, its like to someone, it creeps him out, its like to someone, he didnt know that one loves him too much because of a reason. Maybe that reason is, one loves someone too much because of the past, one doesnt want the past to repeat by itself again, one doesnt want to be haunted by the past again. But that someone couldnt decipher the reason why one love him too much. At the same time, its bad for one because one could forget about the world because all one is thinking about is that someone he loves too much. However, it is wrong for one to love someone too much? The fact that its just a feeling that one feels towards someone? As a result, sooner or later, someone told the truth to one not to love him too much. One has to agree right? If one loves someone, he has to obey what someone wants, no matter how deep someone create a scar on one's heart, one still have to agree with it.

So... I didnt know what else to write here. Hmm, do comment on what you think of it alright? :D. Takecare, see you around, :D.

Back for update

2010-05-05T23:55:00.000-07:00

Sorry to have neglect this blog for few weeks, been busy with school, projects after projects, assignments after assignments, quizes after quizes, ok, i was exaggerating, but seriously, its like you can never have a break. Weekends, you have to study to catch up on the things that you dont understand, once you're lost, you'll be forever lost, gosh, its really tough, i should say.

If only i chose biomedical at republic poly, i would have been a slacker, haha, i couldnt find any other words to describe the environment at rp, my friends who are schooling there are enjoying the environment, im so jealous! But what to do, its way too late to turn back time. I have to look to the future and know that it has already laid infront of me, hehe, :D.

Ahh... I wanted to write a lot of things here, but now i had already forgotten, haha. I meant, there are a lot of things i wanted to write, but i couldnt find the right words to put into a paragraph or sentence, sheesh. Forget about it.

I miss a lot of people right now, too much for me to list them here. Well, i think, you know who you are eh, lets meet up ok? Provided that both are free on a particular day, ok? :D

Hmm, ok, its nearing 12am, and i think i should turn in. Good night people! Sleep tight! Sweet dreams! See you soon!

School

2010-04-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

School will be starting next week, monday the 19th. Yesterday was my last day working at Pizza Hut Eng Kong Terrace, i felt relieved but at the same time kind of sad because i had to leave all my working friends behind. Though ive been waiting for yesterday to come, yet i do feel a bit gloomy, no more hearing my name being screamed by people in the store. At start, i do feel isolated, lonely, but as time went by, i realised that i have a lot of friendly people working there. So, time really helped me to come out of my shell and make friends with them, :D. I wish them the best in working life, of course, I'll miss you people! :P.

As i mentioned earlier, school will be starting next week, i couldnt be more excited. Excited to make new friends, hands on in hospitals and clinics, its kind of fun you know, haha. So yeah, will be having attachment in june, seriously cant wait, :D.

I think thats all. Will update when i have the time. Takecare! See you!

Reserved and quiet ones

2010-03-26T01:30:00.000-07:00

I realised that the reserved and quiet ones are dangerous. I learnt based on an observations of some people that im close with. Just so you know, these people are not arrogant nor they're oblivious to the surrounding, they're just shy and doesnt know how to spread their wings. A very important note that i think others should be careful while hanging out with one, or being around with one; never to hurt one's feelings, because you may never know what one might do in a secluded place. Even though one shows that he doesnt care, it doesnt mean one has no feelings.
Words, you have to be careful with it when you're with one.
Force, never to force one with things he doesnt like to do, i believe everyone doesnt.
From what i observed, one will not dare to speak up for himself, one will just take the blame if anything happens, one will rather hurt himself emotionally or physically than hurting the innocence ones. No, one is not an emo person, one is putting others infront of him first, one will always think of others before thinking of himself. Unless something is very significant to one, one will place himself infront of the others.
One is very humble or just simply humble.
In conclusion, from my point of view, the reserved and quiet ones are sensitive, keep things to themselves and has a lot of patience in them. But when one feels that everything thats in him has gone beyond the limits, thats when you see one blow up like a volcanic eruptions. But hey, thats rare, because one believes that patience is virtue.

Oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my eldest brother and sister who already turned 25 and will be turning 23 respectively. May your future marriage be a blessing to you from Allah, Amin.

Nursing

2010-03-14T23:25:00.000-07:00

I realised that choosing this course will definitely give me a bright future. When everyone asked me which course i took, i would reply 'nursing' in an unsatisfactory tone. But hey, the feedback that i get from them was encouraging, saying that its a good course and your pay's good when you get a job, and thats when i began to feel my spirit burning. I convinced myself that im going to enjoy studying the course and getting my hands on in hospitals. Though i received advices from my aunt that i have to hold on to being scolded by a higher status than me while having attachments, i still have to pull through, its the key to success, :D.

And so, there will be a nurse in the house! :D

Nursing

2010-03-02T22:05:00.000-08:00

And so, my choice: Nursing.

BACKSTREET BOYS' CONCERT!

2010-03-01T14:05:00.000-08:00

I was dissapointed at first when the secuirty guard at the entrance told me that photography and videos are not allowed during the show, and if i were caught, they will take away my memory card. But, when the concert was about to start, there was a short video clip of the introduction and it says 'Get ready to turn on your camera phones', haha, how contradicting it was? And there, flashes was seen everywhere, everyone begun to stand and screamed their lungs out when the boys revealed themselves. At first, i couldnt withstand the screaming crowd, but sooner, i was one of them, hehe, and Nash looked at me in a way, 'Is this my girlfriend?' must have went through his mind, haha. I wanted to faint for the first few minutes of the show, because i was so ecstatic for being there, and i melted seeing them perform, but i refrained from being unconscious by hugging my baby :D. I managed to capture the videos in my phone and camera, Nash too managed to capture them in his phone, :D. We stood up the whole one and a half hours of their concert! We could even feel the floor vibrating because people were jumping up and down, i was one of them too! Hehe, :D. Even though our seat is a bit far from the stage, i could still recognise who is who from far, hehe. And if they're coming back next year for a concert, i will be buying the seat the very front row, and if possible, i would want to stand at the edge of the stage, for a clearer view and for my satisfaction, hehe. Too much? :P

Im done! I am still excited though, haha. I would want to see them for the last time, at airport perhaps? So, do anyone knew when they're departing from Singapore? I really want to know! Hehe, desperate? Haha. Its a once in a life time thing, right? :D

Torn, again

2010-02-22T21:00:00.000-08:00

And there i go again, pondering over the course and the school, nursing at NP or biomedical at RP. I have so little time to make my decision as registration will take place in March, i guess. Seriously, i cant stop talking to people of going to Ngee Ann and will be taking the nursing course, but at the same time, my heart is fighting over the biomedical course at Republic Polytechnic. See where this is going? Lesson learnt: Try not to be smart applying for two admission exercises.
I wouldnt be so torn if at least, i was posted to Singapore poly under one of the admissions, hehe. But now, its a battle between Ngee Ann and Republic Polytechnic.

Ahh, i should sit down and think hard.

My choice

2010-02-17T21:25:00.000-08:00

I think ive made my decision. Im going to take nursing at Ngee Ann polytechnic as my choice. It has a future laid out for me, i hope. Its only a matter of fact whether i could hold on to it or not. I hope im going to pull through, :D.

Backstreetboys' concert will held on next week Sunday, 28 February 2010. It is also a very special day for Nashrin, because its the day he opened his eyes to see the real world, for 19 years, :D. Therefore, im going to the concert with my baby, :D. I am very ecstatic to see the backstreetboys! Life! I am honestly cant wait to see them perform! Although they're already quite old, but their songs are powerful, well, to me, hehe.

So, Ngee Ann polytechnic, im on my way! :D

P.S. I miss my closest.

Nursing or Biomedical Science

2010-02-09T22:10:00.000-08:00

As you can see, im still torn between these two courses. You want to know why? Come, read my dilemma, hehe, :D.

Nursing is a good course but biomedical is the course that i would be dying to study, my closest should know that, :D. Nursing is at Ngee Ann polytechnic which its certificate is recognised but Biomedical Science is at Republic polytechnic which its certificate is yet to be recognised. But still, both are polytechnics. Nursing, its job is secured after graduate while biomedical, its job is yet to confirm, unless one really study hard for it and get a really good GPA. I honestly dont mind getting into the nursing course because to me, its something interesting and more of hands on. But on the other side, biomedical science is the course that i desperately wanted to study for. But then again, which has a bright future and already has a path laid ready for me?

My dad told me to just take the course biomedical since i wanted it so much, and he said that i will be scared if i were to take nursing because i will see blood, oh what an excuse! Many would encourage me to take nursing, because the job is secured, i agree. But then again, biomedical? See my dilemma? Haha, ok, i should stop it.

Anyone who really has a great advice? Do contact me, thank you.

NP or RP

2010-02-05T00:10:00.000-08:00

I am honestly torn between these two polytechnics. I just got to know that im offered the course Biomedical Science at Republic Poly under the Joint Polytechnic Special Admission Exercise. And i really dont know which course i should study. Nursing seems to be interesting, but biomedical science is the course that i would die for. But then again, i dont know. Any advice? Would love to hear, :D.

Hmm, so, thats all. Takecare! I'll see you soon! :D

Let go

2010-02-02T20:20:00.000-08:00

Tears drown from deep within
Feelings outgrown her
Engulfed in her sorrows
She tried hiding the pain inside

Staring at the sky
She searched for the moon
Seeing it hiding behind the clouds
Thinking it would be better if she
hides under her blanket too

Their songs playing softly in the background
Slowly the tears fall upon her cheeks
Her voice choked in her throat
"I don't want to lose you.."

Of all the pain she had gone through
This is the most excruciating
She wants to end the pain
Yet she doesnt want to let go

Love.. She love him....

Too much that she wants to hold him close
She wants to hold him tight
She couldn't think straight
She couldn't stop the tears from flowing

Too much that she misses him
Too much that she wants him
Its killing her
Hands on her head, sitting on the floor
against her bed's frame

She punch the bed's frame with her fist
She doesnt care if the pain's going to hurt
She just wants to feel him by her side
She just wants to feel his fingers running through her hair

Red- from all the punching
Abruptly her tears stop and
all she felt was pain on her fist

Hey.. Pardon for the long, erm, story, hehe. Enjoy!

Reminisce

2010-01-28T22:30:00.000-08:00

I wonder why, when one has already opened a new book with someone else and loves that someone so much, one still misses his ex-lover. One can never erase the memories of the past no matter how hard he tries. One will feel the heart's burning when seeing his ex-lover with someone else even though their story had ended a really long time ago. One can still deny that he couldnt get over his ex-lover. Everytime when one sits down and day dream, he will reminisce of the past with his ex-lover, its like as though there's no one else that he could think of. I know, sometimes its hard for one to overcome this because he was thrashed badly. But i dont see why one cant get over his ex-lover when he is with someone else that is way better than his ex-lover.

Hmm, i think thats all. Takecare! See you around! :D

Ngee Ann Polytechnic

2010-01-27T14:05:00.000-08:00

And so, i was posted to Ngee Ann polytechnic and am taking the nursing course. The tension filled the room at Costa Sands Resort at Pasir ris as we waited for the message to arrive to our mobile phones. We were ready as early as 6am because of our anticipation. As one by one received the message, quite a number of expressions was shown on our faces. However, whatever course we get, im sure we're going to excel in it, :D.

I was disappointed for not getting either one of the top 3 courses of my choice. Those courses are from Singapore Polytechnic and i should say that getting into this school is tough. But, i should be grateful for getting the nursing course at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. I will be in the same course as some of my classmates and im relieved to have them, :D.

Hmm, i wonder whom that i knew will be in the same course and school with me, anyone? :D

Part 2

2010-01-20T23:10:00.000-08:00

Trust, she doesnt know whether she do
To hold on or to let go
Her heart has been fighting since
Since that day it broke into a million pieces

Honesty, is she being honest?
Truthful? Or just unsure?
It hurts her as much as it'll hurt them if they know
Hardly able to think for herself

She bottles up everything that she could
A penknife near her
Its the solution to her heart-wrenching pain
She ignore the voices in her head which told her to stop

Before she could even self harm
The door to her room was being knocked
Shock as she was
The knife by accident pierced through her skin

Her face cramped, she screamed in pain
The one that knocks on her door rushed in
Seeing her bleeding non stop, he reached out to her
She smiled when she sees him and mouthed 'i love you'

Her body was being shook hard
She cant collapsed, no she cant
She needs to stay.....

As promised, part 2 is writen above, :D. Sorry it doesnt have a proper ending, Zub doesnt have anything in her mind because it was nearing 1am, haha, so pardon us, hehe. There will be more to come, i guess. So, do enjoy!

By the way, any of you interested in going to BackStreet Boys' Concert on 28 February at 8pm at Suntec Hall? Tickets will be at 68$, 98$ or 148$ Anyone who is interested, do tag or simply text me, :D. Thank you!

Hmm, ok, that's all. Takecare! Missing everyone of you, :D.

4E2, confirm eh chalet will be on 26-27 of january? Cant wait!

Part 1

2010-01-18T21:45:00.000-08:00

Chance, is what she always believes in
But having to give a lot of chances
Made her felt betrayed, hurt
Till she has nothing to hold on
Except hope

Staring out at sea
She started thinking to herself
What more in life do I have left?
Confused as she was
She's determined to see herself do better

Love, has always been the fear to her life
She thought by moving on
Her life would shine over the rainy days
Disappointed as it seems
Tears began to roll down her cheeks

Love is not one to decide
It somes naturally, to stay or to go let time decides
One doesnt has to fear love
Brave to face the ups and downs
She tried talking herself to it
But seems it hardly work to make her feel any better

She scream his name with her lungs out
Hoping he could hear and reach out for her
She waits, till the sun had set
But all she felt was the wind blowing her black smooth hair away

His voice still echoes in her head
He's never coming back
She could feel it
He's gone...
Through the night, tears acompanied her
"I have to let him go..."

Hey! Basically i have nothing to update this blog with except for those written above, hehe. Do enjoy, understand it and well, if there's anything you would like to voice, just tag alright? Thanks! Part 2 will be on the way, hehe, i hope, :D.

Moving on

2010-01-15T15:10:00.000-08:00

I've learnt a lot of things from people, their words, advices. And the only person that can change of what's happening in their life is their own self. Yes, sometimes its hard to fight against the feeling of gloomy, isolated, depressed, but if you could change your mind set into a positive thinking, of course you can fight it, trust me. Ive been through it for almost 2 years, i believe everyone does. And during this journey, my friends, best friends i should say, had always been there for me. And i would like to take this opportunity to thank you, to all of you, you know who you are, that had been my pillar of strength all this while. However, i really hope that the support that we gave each other wont end even after our secondary school life.

I miss a lot of people right now.

4E2'09, 1st and 2nd of February, chalet right? Meet you guys there! :D.

The results

2010-01-12T00:40:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulilah i made it to Polytechnic. Though the points isnt satisfying, but still, im fortunate and bless Allah for making this happen. Lucky i could pull myself together and not to cry because i couldnt make it to JC, well, i could if i am to choose MI, but well, ive decided that i dont want to, my dad was disappointed when i snapped at him that i dont want MI, hehe. I know im not supposed to do that, but i have my own decision too, right? Hehe, :D.

I have like thousands of courses to choose from, not literally, but quite a lot, and my head spins 360 degrees to short-list which courses im interested in, and it seems like im interested in the science courses, i just love chemicals and experiments, :D. With the help of Nashrin, i managed to list down the courses that i am really interested in and of course, eligible for. I just need to arrange them according to my first choice till the 12th. Its really frustrating having to keep on rearranging the order of choices, basically, i need help, anyone? :D.

Hmm, for those who did well, congratulations! For those who didnt, dont give up on studying, just move on with whatever you have, it doesnt mean not getting into a good institution, you cant succeed, you dont know what lies ahead of you. So to everyone who had taken their O level results, do choose the courses wisely and study hard! Hehe, :D.

11 January 2010

2010-01-06T21:20:00.000-08:00

So, its been officially confirmed that the O level results will be released on the 11th January. Some might feel nervous, scared, terrified, anticipated, while others can't wait because they know they'll do well. Hmm, which category do i belong to? The 'freak-out' category of course, haha, well, yeah. I believe everyone has the fear of not doing so well, but if you change your mindset and overcome the fear, im sure you can face it. Have confidence in yourself and believe that you had already did your best. I hope no one is going to pour their tears of regret, instead, tears of joy, :D.

Ive nothing to write now. Wish you all the best in the results! Take care! I'll see you around, :D.

2010

2010-01-01T03:05:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everybody! May 2010 be a more wonderful, joyous, loving and splendid year for you! Whatever grief moments you had in 2009, leave it all behind, start a new book for 2010 alright? However, for the wonderful moments you had in 2009, may it remained in your heart and mind for eternity, :D. Happy New year once again, :D.

Hmm so, did you go to any sponsored countdown? Well, i did, with my baby, Nashrin, :D. We went to the Nee Soon Sparkle 2010, opposite Khatib Mrt. The reason was because, Taufik Batisah would perform there. Promised to show himself at 11, but he only revealed himself after the crowd and the artistes on stage countdown to 2010. I was annoyed at first, because we waited for 2 hours for him to turn up, but was already jumping up and down like a monkey who managed to escape from the zoo and into the wild, hehe. Trust me, he's burning and sizzling hot on stage! He sang his new single 'Addicted', a malay song 'Nafasku' from the album Suria Hatiku and 'All because of you' from the album All because of you. Thanks to Nashrin, we managed to capture some of Taufik's pictures and videos in his handphone and camera, thank you so much, :D. Im sorry if the atmosphere was very noisy and irritating to you, hehe.

So, 2010 is already here. Whats your new year's resolution?

Darkness

2009-12-29T00:45:00.000-08:00

Night has replaced the day,
The cool night breeze whizzed through the trees,
Chirping of birds has disappeared,
Only the sounds of the many crickets accompanied the lonely soul

In the dark, where no one could watch,
She ran through the woods,
Running away from everything,
at the same time finding the light to her path,
But disappointed she couldnt find any, she fell to her knees

The dark engulfed around her,
Petrified-she screamed,
Knowing she was lost and what she had followed was only
an illusion of her young self,
As she heard footsteps-or is it?-coming towards her,
she struggled up and continued running

She struggled through the long branches hanging sideways
from the trees,
Those branches kept on scratching her arms, legs,
Enduring the pain and the flowing of blood,
She didnt stop,
But tears began to streak down her warm yet pale face

Time.. She didnt realised it has turn to dawn,
Light fight to enter her eyes,
It was too bright for her to see,
She tried to move but her hands, her legs were being held up,
Opening her mouth to cry for help,
but nothing ever came out anymore.

Hey! Yeah, back to the 'show dont tell' technique of erm, creating a story, perhaps? Hmm, a poem? Ahh, im not sure too. Its kind of tough you know to create those. I meant you have to think on the spot of what to write to continue the story. Its either you start and the next person continues. For the past so called 'stories', it had been Zubaidah and myself creating it. And you have to have the passion to write those. But well, its all based on your feelings, what you're feeling at the instance, and the other party have to think and reply fast, :D.

Congratulation to Sezairi Sezali for winning the Singapore Idol 2009 contest! Im sure you're going to continue holding that title for long, :D. Hmm, by the way, did you guys watch Taufik Batisah perfomed his new single 'Addicted'? Oh my, he's burning hot, dont you agree? Hehe. I watched him performed with my eyes opened wide, eyelids not blinking, mouth opened wide, grinning from ear to ear. I swear i was only paying attention to him, hehe.

Hmm so, New year will be in a few more days. That means, the O level results will be released not long after! Well, all the best to everyone who is taking their results, including me, :D. Whatever path that it takes, just move on alright? :D

So i think i'll just end my entry here, :D, its getting late, hehe. Takecare people!

P.S. Besties, where are you? 4E2, when is our gathering? Hmm. Text me? :D

N level results

2009-12-17T20:55:00.000-08:00

Hey! So, the N level results will be released tomorrow I heard. Therefore to all the N level candidates, all the best in receiving the results! Hope for the best alright? Hopefully you'll reach your goal, :D. However, if the outcome isn't what you expected, don't think too much, move on in the education life, don't give up, :D. Once again, I wish all of you the best! :D.

I literally miss school. Well, the lessons and theory, especially doing maths, doesnt matter elementary or additional maths, but I miss doing both. However, if you were to give me a complicated question on either one, I'll have a lot of question marks above my head, trust me, hehe. I guess I have already decant all of my knowledge in maths and especially science. I miss chemistry lesson. Being in Mrs Lim's darling group really hit a nail in my head on how much things I had to catch up on chemistry during our crucial last few months before the actual examination. Well, we're called Mrs Lim's darlings because we did our best in her paper, but with minimum effort, in other words, we're the ones that failed her paper, haha. I know there's nothing to be proud of, but its really worth to be in this group because you'll realize you're improving each day, hehe, :D, even though there were whining and complaints, but still, we pulled through, :D. And there's a deal made between Mrs Lim and her darling group, if we are to pass with a B4 and above, maybe including C5, she'll treat us pizza hut, or any other company as long as there's pizza in the menu, hehe. Still keeping your words eh Mrs Lim? ;D.

So, I guess I'll end here, hehe. Once again, all the best to N level candidates who are taking their results to tomorrow! :D.

Fate

2009-12-08T23:58:00.000-08:00

Adrenaline is being pumped in her blood,
Having said it was a revenge,
And trusting every word was tough,
But she never thought to be in the similar situation again

Her mind was spinning, her heart was racing,
Lost in her thoughts,
She didnt know what to do or who to turn to,
Those words stung her- like a knife piercing through her veins

She felt cold and her face is pale,
'Bam!' she collapsed,
She saw her late relatives dressing in white,
Holding out their arms, her brain's jammed.

Hardly able to think, breathe, or speak,
Still, she braved herself forward,
Those faces she once loved.. missed..
Reaching out back to them,
In a split second, they were all gone,
There she was, standing all alone

She closed her eyes,
Wishing to be at where she physically was,
But to no avail, she was still a lost soul,
With nothing to hold on

Chatterings in the background, sirens heard,
She felt something lifting her up,
"Everybody move! Let her breathe"
She was unsure what was happening,
But sure enough to know she's not dreaming anymore,
She smiled.

Hey! Haha, so that's the end. Created by Zub and myself, :D, do enjoy it yeah? Takecare! See you!

Break-ups

2009-12-02T19:10:00.000-08:00

Hmm, so, break-ups, well, its common among the teenagers or whoever, in fact everyone, that's going through the love life, i mean, during the adolescent years or maybe adulthood, before marriage of course. Well, during marriage too, couples might divorce of a certain reason.

So, my dearest friend, don't worry if you're going through this phase of life. You asked for it because of a very good and coherent reason, i heard your side of story and i understood the reason why you wanted the relationship to end. However, it takes two hands to clap, but i don't think there's a need to listen to the other side of story, because the content might be different and it'll take quite some time to settle. Well, its the holidays, you have to make full use of it to enjoy your time, before getting the O level results, not breaking down, whimpering, reminiscing of the past. As they said 'Its no use crying over a spilled milk'. In fact, you shouldn't be feeling gloomy because you asked for it. Well, sometimes, one could feel the love that he had towards the other after a break-up. One could feel heart-wrenching, crushed even though one ask for it. In my opinion, one feels that way because one still loves the other no matter how much the mind denies it.

Well, yeah, sometimes after a break-up, one will feel grief, its like as though a knife is being stabbed in the heart, its like as though its the end of one's life. However, it can be avoided if one has the confidence in himself, not giving up in life and stop being pessimistic. As they said 'there are a lot of fishes in the sea, you just have to find the right one'. Every bad thing happened for a reason, and we, as humans, learn from the mistakes and move on without repeating the same mistakes over again. Therefore, same goes to a relationship, learn the mistakes from the previous relationship and never to repeat it again when a new bond is made. Sometimes, learning the mistakes and getting over the person that he once loved from the previous relationship will take him a long time, but sooner or later, one must finally let go and move on in life. As they said 'If you love the person, you must learn to forget, let go and move on in life'. Well, love cant be force, they said.

Therefore, to my dearest friend and whoever that is going through this phase, don't let yourself look ridiculous and weak, stand upright and vibrantly face the other party, because you got nothing to lose, :D. Well dear friend, take your time to recover, you have a lot of people around you, they're always there for you, they'll be your pillar of strength and will guide you through this. And finally, they love you, :D.

Hari Raya Aidiladha

2009-11-27T12:55:00.000-08:00

Hey! Just wanted to wish the Muslims Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha! Enjoy watching goats and sheep being slaughtered at the mosque yeah? I couldn't watch, haha, don't ask me why, :D.

Ok, that's it. Takecare! See you around! Much misses to all of you! :D. Have an enjoyable and blissful day today!

YES!!

2009-11-16T09:20:00.000-08:00

I'm taken! By this cute chubby guy! Hehe. On the 15th that is. Finally im moving on, letting go and trying to forget of the past fully, will try not to reminisce. Thank you so much for appearing in my life, thank you.

Thank you my friends for having my back all this while, thank you for being my pillar of strength, thank you for waking me up to reality, thank you so much. Because of you guys, ive finally made the right choice, found the right guy, thank you.

I love you, bfs, you should know who you are yeah? And of course, i love you, Nashrin.

Hey

2009-11-15T17:30:00.000-08:00

Hey! Finally O level is over! Im really scared for the results actually, but whatever the outcome is, i know that i did my best, :D.

Oh yeah, i wanted to thank everyone for wishing me on my birthday, but hey, wishing isnt enough eh, i need gifts! Hehe, nah, kidding. So yeah, thank you so much for those who wished me on the 10th november, :D and also, who wished me in advance or belated, thank you, you know who you are yeah? Im too indolent to type out the names here, hehe, sorry. Those who had given me presents, thank you so much, i really appreciate it, :D.

Hmm, sometimes i wonder why do we have a family? Yeah, they said having them is a bless and blissful, yeah, it would be prefect or close to perfect if the bond among a family is strong. Its like one can share what's happening in his life to his parents, or if his parents isnt free to hear him out, atleast he has his siblings to spare time for him. However, i wonder what if one doesnt have his family to rely on? One doesnt receive the attention he needs? One doesnt feel the care he needs? One doesnt feel the love he needs? Instead, one feel remorse, bitter, isolated. Instead, one receive hurtul and harshful words smacked right in the face even though one doesnt react to that kind of treatment. In the end, it came to one conclusion in one's head, what does a family for? Yeah, one might already understood that his family is busy with work, one might already understood that his family is worn-out when they reached home, one might already understood that his family has their own life to lead, but what is one to his family? Even though one might be the youngest in the family, it doesnt mean one has to be neglected, one has to be least taken care of, and most importantly, it doesnt mean that one has no feelings. Sometimes, its useless when one place his family as the most prioritise people but they just dont bother, and that one is still wishing that something blissful would happen, happiness that his family could give to him, but to no avail, it did not happen, because unfortunately, one lives in a dream.

I'll end here people. Takecare!

Hari Raya!

2009-09-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

Hey! Taking this opportunity to wish all the Muslims Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! I would like to apologise for the wrongdoings and sin that i did towards you, even the slightest, forgive me please, :D. Im a typical human being, im not free from my mistakes, hope you'll forgive me yeah? Hehe, thanks. For those who are taking the upcoming National exams, all the best! Dont give up, persevere! Hehe. Takecare alright? See ya soon! Once again,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!

Hey

2009-06-26T23:20:00.000-07:00

Hey there. Im taking this opportunity to update this blog before leaving it for 12863757356983679357 years, hehe.

School is starting soon, which means National Exams is drawing nearer. Time to get stress people, hehe. But hey, dont be mad at doing something you think its worthless repeating it over and over again. Haha, dont get what im trying to imply? I think in short, im trying to say that dont give up in whatever you're doing. Hehe.

Hey, heard of "Yang sudah tuh sudah"? Haha, in translation, it means "what is gone, is gone" or "let bygones be bygones". Sometimes one doesnt wish to contemplate of what had happened in the past or just happened, because its heart-wrenching, though one doesnt show his true feelings. Yes, without showing true feelings during a dispute or argument, one can lose everything in a blink of an eye because it shows he doesnt care but actually deep down inside, the heart is crying for help. Well, maybe one doesnt know how to mend the broken pieces?

Hmm, feelings and words, whats the difference? Haha, Ill leave you to think about it. But hey, i want to voice out my opinion too, hehe. Well, in my opinion, feelings causes the kind of words and tone that come out from one's mouth; they're harsh when someone's feeling frustrated or annoyed, they're the cold water to the inferno's heart or words that comfort one's heart, and well, theres more. But hey, when one has already spit out the harsh words without the intention to the other, one has to forgive after sorting himself out, because he has hurt the other, maybe a bit or severe, depending on the skin thickness of the other. Haha, i feel what im writing is complicated because it seems like im beating about the bush, not knowing what im trying to imply. But, you should understand eh? Hehe.

Heard of "True Friend" by Hannah Montana? Haha, its in this blog. If no, do hear it out yeah? The lyrics is so true, hehe. Ive found mine, quite a number, have you? Hehe.

So, people, Ill end off here. Takecare alright? See you!

Our story

2009-05-23T00:55:00.000-07:00

The sea is calming.
The sun is on the set.
She is staring at the sea,
hoping for someone to rescue her by the shore.
But her hopes was dragged by the waves far away.
Finally, she gave up and let herself drowned,
with her hopes.

As she was being swallowed up by the calm yet dangerous sea,
a ghost of her face emerged from under.
Its face was stricken, disappointed.
She spoke to her human self,
"Its not the end of your journey.
Faith is the strength by which shattered world shall emerge into the light.
Get back."

Her human self could hardly believe what he ghost said.
Her mind couldnt accept what her heart roared.
She still wanted to leave from her misery, remorseful life.
She couldnt live with the loneliness, biased, invisible life.
She's ready, ready to face the afterlife.

Her mind, her heart-they were racing.
The pressure building up in her.
Death-she thought was the best solution.
The sea was engulfing upon her.
As she struggled,
she say the faces of the ones she loved.
No longer can she reach out to them.
Her heart stopped.

Ok, im done. Its random, i know. Well, created by Zub and myself. We started on it when Mrs Yee introduced to us the 'show, dont tell' technique of writing an essay. This so called story was created way last month, well, what do you think? Emotional, i know, hehe.

So, results for Mid-year is out. Im not surprised/devastated/frustrated at all, in fact i was nonchalant when i received the results, not because i did it well, but because i expected it. Hehe. The only thing that im worried about is, to hand in the report book to my Dad. I guess im going to play hide and seek the moment i place it on his table.

Hmm, ok. I really dont know what to type here. But well, i just want to apologise for my prolonged absence, hehe.

So, all the best for the erm, upcoming exams, in advance, in case i update this blog in 3167853491792389016736794e16o3879674 years. So, takecare people! Smile always!

Oh by the way, Kris is the American Idol for 2009! Wooohhooooooo!!!!! He's cute you know. Hehe.

Ok im done. Bye!

Hey

2009-03-17T17:00:00.000-07:00

Hey there. Its been a while since ive last updated eh? Hehe. Sorry guys. Been busy, with what? Im not sure too. Ok.......
So, results for CA1 were out last friday, and i was appalled by my combined humanities grade, E8. Shites. Other subjects, i wasnt dismayed at all because i expected that kind of grades for each subject. Disappointing, disgraceful. Aint going to show dad the result slip, its already good enough that i dont get the 'talk'. Haha, quote that from the drama SYF script, hehe.
Ok, so, my schedule after this will be tight, and less freedom, told ya guys my freedom will be taken away slowly, but not fully eh. Hehe. Less watching television, handphone switch off while doing homework or studying, are the rules made by my aunt. No internet access unless necessary will be my rule. Too much? Well, studies is my priority now. What can i do?
I bet that everyone of my age is experiencing this crucial year. Yeah, you will feel frustrated, pressurised, resentful, but just dont give up, keep on trying. Your hard work and efforts will definitely pay off in the end. Ok? Hehe.
So, thats all. Takecare! See ya around.

Friends?

2009-02-09T21:15:00.000-08:00

Hey there. Its been a while since ive updated. Been busy with school lately. Hehe. I have few questions to ask:
What are friends for? What job are they given? Why do we need friends? What are some qualities that are needed to build a strong bond of friendship?

I know the previous entry and this entry are about friends, friendship, but i really need to know the real definition of them. Because i have a lot of doubts like do friends scold each other for no reason? Do one find fault in another? Do one must always be agreeable to the other even though that one knew what the other commented or said is wrong? Do one has to control the other?

I know i should have known all the answers by now, but i need some answers what does the term 'friends' means, make it 'best friends' or 'true friends'.

Just for once, make me understand what does it means, or at least, answer the questions that had been lingering in my mind for quite some time. Thank you.

Friendship

2009-01-12T22:00:00.000-08:00

Yes, what is friendship to you?
Well, to me, it is something that one should treasure and regret when one didnt. Every friendship created means alot to me, and of course it means alot to everyone. But when each bond is broken, it leaves both parties a shattered heart that can never be mended. Ive been there before, i believed everyone does.
It is broken because of a problem that might lead to heartache and egoistic. And the fight or misunderstanding between two person can take a million of years to solve, well, not to the extent, but at least theres a solution to it. Every problem has a proper solution, to make things better again, to make the friendship bond grew strong again.
Trust, honesty, being there for each other, pickup that friend when he/she falls, never give up, patience are some qualities that i think one should show towards the other. No matter how angry or upset you are towards the person, you still have to control because that person is no stranger to you, it is someone you knew for quite some time, or even, for a long time. Its awkward when suddenly, the one that had always been there for you, the one that had gone through thick and thin with you, vanishes because of a problem that was left hanging. Or maybe the problem had been solved but its just that that person couldnt trust or withstand you any longer, and thus left you. The feeling of being left by a friend who was once closed with you is bitter.

I know you guys had been wondering and asking yourself 'What the heck is she talking about?', but what im trying to convey is that, to treasure the friendship you have built and never give up on each one.

O level results

2009-01-11T23:05:00.000-08:00

O level results is out tomorrow! All the best to those who are taking the results! Especially my bloody sister, i'll call and text you, better pick up and reply! Hehe.

As for this year, it would be my turn to focus and concentrate on O level. Man, i hate the atmosphere. But what to do, still have to go through this phase. For this year badge, all the best yo for Os and Ns!

So, thats it. Take care people! See ya!

new year

2009-01-01T22:00:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! May 2009 be a splendid, wonderful, blessful year for you yeah? Those who are taking major exams, all the best! Those who are waiting for results, all the best too! And and, I wanted to take the opportunity to say sorry to those I've caused hurt. Sorry.... Hehe.

Ok I think thats all I have to say. Hehe.. Takecare people! See ya around!

Third day pictures

2008-12-20T13:40:00.000-08:00

So here they are. Enjoy alright?

And there, thats the 8 of us. So yeah, thats it.

Oh by the way, Twilight was surprisingly awesome. Haha. You should catch it yeah?

Im very grateful to have my first secondary school bestfriend. Though we're far from sight, we're close at hearts. Hehe. Still holding tight, yeah? Takecare while you're away. I miss and love you dearest. :)

Pictures.

2008-12-19T19:30:00.000-08:00

Second day.

Third days pictures will be a next time. Hehe. Takecare!

KL trip.

2008-12-17T23:55:00.000-08:00

So hey guys. My phone's back. Well, it was not exactly brokedown but somehow it was because i had to go to the service centre to unlock my phone. As in, theres a phone lock code and my own code and the default code doesnt match. Alah, just try to understand lah. Hehe. But hey, my phone's back. Thanks to my best bud who gets to accompany me when i asked her at the last minute. Hehe. I love her. :)

Ok so, KL trip was fun alright! Hehe. I dont know how to explain it in words but i did have alot of fun. Haha. Ok. First day was already fabulous seh. I just wish that the trip could extend longer but because of all those 3 adults thats working, we cant have a much longer stay. So, there's 8 of us. My two sisters, my first sister's boyfriend and her friend, my second sister's boyfriend and their two friends. And not to forget me! Hehe.

So, do i have to write everything that happened that 3days 2nights trip? Hmm, i'll cut it short ok?

First night, it was hilarious. Why? Because Yan(second sister's boyfriend) talked alot of crap because of something. Hehe. And i took alot of videos of him. Tell ya, your stomach can burst you know. Hehe.

Second day, Times Square. I didnt take the rides instead went shopping with my second sister and the rest had thrilling rides at the Cosmo's World. And again, others told me and my second sister how Yan was during all those rides. And again, it was funny knowing that he's afraid of heights. When he rode one of the rides that went up high, and when he was at the summit, he said 'Menyesal aku naik nie!', meaning 'I regretted taking this ride!', with his almost cried face. Haha, imagine lah. Hehe.

Third day, Home Sweet Home.

So yeah. Thats it. Hehe. I have pictures for the trip. If you think the pictures doesnt match with the story ive typed, feel free to make a new one. Hehe.

First day.

And this picture was when Yan talked alot of crap. See his smile, damn wide and evil. Hehe. Ok, i'll upload the second and third days of the pictures next time. Hehe. Takecare people. I'll see you guys around.

Oh by the way, Zub's going off tomorrow, Suriah and Amie going off on Saturday. Damn, Im going to miss these people. I love you! Takecare alright? Have a safe trip! MUAHHH!

hey

2008-12-16T19:25:00.000-08:00

Hello there. Im abit lazy to update about KL trip. But i will soon, hopefully. Well actually, my motive of posting this entry is to tell you guys that my phone's breakdown. Sorry for any inconvenience caused. If you need to get through me, tag or msn yeah? Or the fastest way, call my home number, if im not at home, ask the speaker how to get through me. Alright? Takecare. I'll see you guys around.

KL

2008-12-10T23:59:00.000-08:00

Me: Kak, I dont care. I want to go overseas. Malaysia pun boleh ah.
Translation: Sis, I dont care. I want to go overseas. Malaysia also can.

Hehe. Well, that was basically my text mesage to my elder sister somewhere around mid November. And there she go, busily arranged for the trip, asking around whether they wanted to tag along or not. It was kind of busy for her to check out the hotels in the internet and asking whether im ok with it or not. Basically, im ok with everything because my purpose of going overseas is to relax. But thanks sis for arranging this for me. I love you. Hehe.
I was wondering whether i should go to Times Square or not. Can i have your opinion? But i do have alot of reasons not to go there. Here they are:
1) Im afraid of heights.
2) I hate the feeling of 'ARGGHH!IM GOING TO FALL!' but actually you're not. Haha.
3) I'll cry when i ride the 'hair raising' rides.
I couldnt think of anymore reasons even at the back of my head. But, I wanted to take the challenge that i gave to myself, riding the rollercoaster. So, should i go? Tag alright? Hehe, thanks.

Before i end this entry, I wanted to share some pictures with you during Hari Raya Haji. Had a great time with my cousins. Hehe.

Oh by the way, you guys might heard about the natural disaster in Kl right? Hmm. While im away, on the 13thdec-15thdec, just look out for anything that might happen over there alright? The hotel that im staying in is the Federal Hotel. So, just check it out, in case, if theres anything happen to it. Pray for my safety and hopefully, i'll come back in one piece. Hehe. Takecare! I'll see you guys around.

Wait, almost forgotten, today is Taufik's 27th birthday, Happy Birthday Taufik! I love you. What the heck. Haha.

Man, he's hot. Ok im done. Bye!

Random.

2008-12-08T12:40:00.000-08:00

1.the person who tagged you is?
-Sakinah

2.Your relationship with him/her?
-Friends

3.Your 5 impression of him/her?
-funny,friendly,cool,cute,great friend.

4.the most memorable thinghe/she has done to you?
-A shoulder to cry on. :)

5.the most memorable thing he/she said to you?
-Hmm, I aint sure. Hehe.

6.If he/she become your lover,you will?
-I dont get this question. Hehe.

7.If he/she becomes a lover,things he/she has to improve on will be?
-I dont think she has to improve anything because as far i know her,she's great.:)

8.If he/she becomes your enemy,you will?
-Nah, she wont become my enemy alright?

9.if he/she dies,you will?
-I'll cry but by myself since i do not have any shoulder to cry on anymore. Hehe.

10.what is it you want tell he/she now?
-"futsal?tomorrow?"

11.Your overall impression of he/she?
-She's a great friend

12.How do you think people around you will feel around you?
-I dont think i get this question too. Hehe.

13.the characters you love of yourself are?
-Always happy. Hehe.

14.On the contrary,the characters you hate yourself are?
-My friends always hated this character of mine 'hot-tempered'. hehe.

15.The most ideal person u want to be is?
-I dont know.

16.For people that care and likes you,say something to them.
-I love you.:)

17.Pass the quiz to 10 people that you wish to knwo how they feel about you.
1)Sufie
2)Fyqa
3)Zahidah
4)Sharil
5)Suriah
6)Zub
7)Khai
8)Afifah
9)Farah
10)Kaiwen

18.Who is no.6 having a relationship with?
-No one.

19.Is no.9 a male or female?
-Female

20.if no.7 and 10 are together,will it be a good thing?
-Nah, they dont know each other.

21.What is no.2 studying about?
-Maths? Haha. I dont know.

22.when was the last time you chatted with no.3?
-Thursday night.

23.what kind of music band does no.8 likes?
-I think shes fine with everything? I dont know.

24.does no.1 have any siblings?
-yeah.

25.would you woo no.3?
-Haha, if im a guy.

26.how about no 7?
-No way! Haha.

27.is no.4 single?
-yeah.

28.what is the surname of no.5?
-Her fullname is Nurhajasuriah bte Hamid. So, choose the surname. Hehe.

29.what is the hobby of no.10?
-Hmm. Aint sure.

30.does no.5&9 get along?
-I dont know. Try asking them. Hehe.

31.where is no.2 studying at?
- Fajar Secondary

32.talk about something for no.1
-He's a great2 friend. Hehe.

33.have u tried developing feelings with no.8?
-Oh no. Haha.

34.where does no.9 live in?
-Jelapang Road.

35.waht colour does no.4 like?
-I guess black.

36.Are no.1&5 bestfriends?
-I dont know. But they're friends since primary school.:)

37.does no.1 have anypets?
-Nah, he's afraid of almost every animal. Hehe.

38.is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
-Haha. Maybe he is?

39.what is no.10 doing right now?
-I think sleeping. Hehe.

Did this at 12.30pm on 08-12-08. Hehe.

Drama Production

2008-12-04T20:00:00.000-08:00

And its over. That was fast i tell ya. I could feel the bond between us during the production week and suddenly we were apart. Gosh, it was damn fast. I just wish time was much much slower. But on the bright side, i did enjoy the week with the members, it was hell alot of fun and laughter!
On the two days, 27th and 28th November, before our show started, all of us gathered in a circle and made a speech. Everyone had the chance to speak and when it was my turn, i stuttered. Common lah, first time doing the show, the feeling would always be that way. But, i still stutter on the second day of making speech. Im not sure why but its good for getting myself into my character during the play. Hehe.
So yeah, we did our best for both days and yeah, I DID IT! Above all the breaking down and the nervous felt, i made it. Thanks to all of them who gave encouragement to me. Thanks alot. I love you guys yeah? Now im missing them. Hmm.
Oh by the way, do you know how close are the audience and the space that we acted? Its very close i tell ya, I freaked out when i first saw the play den. Here's some of the pic inside the play den that my sister managed to snap. Hehe.

Some pictures during the production.

Thursday(27/11/08)

Friday(28/12/08)

Our Director!

These are the two people that i really really love. AbgKhai and Suriah. Suriah+Atie= Suriatie. Hehe.

Im done here! Hehe. Takecare people!
Eh wait, by the way right Fajar dancers, i bet you've already danced for the competition, but still i want to wish all the best for the results yeah? All the best! :)

Obsession

2008-11-23T23:15:00.000-08:00

YES! I MADE IT! Haha. Made it to where? To Taufik's autograph session at Suntec! Man I was agitated I tell ya. This time, it was organised. You had to have an album for the autograph. So, in order for you to join in the queue, you must have one album. If not, you cant. So, I got to join the queue, but alone, without any companion.

Ahh, Taufik's hot you know. He makes my heart leapt alot of times! Hehe. Ok, I dont know what more to say because I still havent recover from this excitement. Hehe. And oh, Taufik shaked hands with me! Man, he's hot! Ahh, cant resist. Ok, stop. Pictures yeah.

And thats him with my cd! Haha ok. Ahh, he is so hot! Ahhhhhhhhhh, I must be present at his next performance or autograph session. Cant resist! But, I couldnt watch him in the 'Dont Forget the Lyrics' on this Thursday because I have the production goin on. Err, can anyone help me watch and update me? Hehe. Just tell me he's hot, its enough already. Ok enough, stop. Erm, for the last time for this entry,
TAUFIK's HOT!

I cant sleep tonight i tell ya. Because he's too hot! Ok, im done.

Heys

2008-11-21T15:00:00.000-08:00

Ehem. Ok erm. Ive been busy with the drama production that will be held at The Arts House next week on Thursday and Friday. Ahh, people, support lah, buy the tickets from us, especially from me because i have one booklet that i need to sell before monday. Please, i beg? Hehe.

Ive got pictures to load, yeah, every entry of mine has pictures. Hehe, because i dont know what to write here lah. So, enjoy?

Below are the pictures of Kaiwen and myself somewhere this week at Kallang Leisure. Eh Kw, next time bring cash eh so that we can either ice skate or play bowling. Hehe.

Ahh, Zac Efron. Hot man.

This one is yesterday, with bro's fiance, KakSyida. Man, I love her. Hehe.

So people, thought of going to the drama production already? Text me! You know my number, right? If you dont, just leave a tag. Hehe.

And oh, Taufik's new malay album titled 'Suria Hatiku' is released on 23rd, this Sunday and there will be an autograph session too on the same day at 6pm at the Suntec Convention & Exhibition Hall. Erm, anyone who's willing to go with me? Hehe. Damn, he's hot too!

Ok, i guess im done here. So erm, support the drama eh? Hehe, thank you!

Hello.

2008-11-15T16:30:00.000-08:00

Hey there. Erm. I really dont know what to update here. But, i do have some pictures to load. So, enjoy eh? Hehe.

Ok this picture below was during the second round of movie marathon with Sufie and Nurul. See, Sufie is behind me. Hehe.

These pictures below are the ones with Zubaidah the other day. There's more but i think these two are enough. Hehe. I love you eh Zub?

And this was during drama practice/practise. Cool eh? Haha, kidding. It was supposed to be a sculpture but i guess it didnt turn out so well. Hehe.

Ok im done with the pictures. But before i end this, I would like to thank all those people who wished me a happy birthday and also who wished a belated ones. I know its like already 5days after my birthday, but thanks. And also to those who gave me presents! Appreciate it alot. Thanks alot yeah?
P.S. My bloody brother and bloody second sister owe me presents! Im going to haunt them! Ahh, thats an advantage for being the youngest in the family. Hehe.

Was excited

2008-11-08T19:35:00.000-08:00

It was 5days to the actual day but they make it as if it had already happened. No clue of what im typing here? Haha. Easy. They celebrated my birthday on the 05/11/08. It was a surprised! I swear i didnt suspect anything even though Nurul was hiding with the cake and present. Hehe. It was a blast, i tell ya. I screamed of excitement and they were tired of it. Oh yeah, they refers to Nurul, Zahidah and Sufie. Actually, was expecting another one to turn up but didnt, dissapointing. Oh well, atleast i did have fun with the three. Hehe. By right, that day we were supposed to watch some movies but in the end watched one, Dead Silence, because Zahidah forgot to bring her dvd. Ok so, ah yes, the cake they bought for me was the chocolate mousse and the present was a high school musical pillow! I really love the present they bought for me and will definitely treasure it. I guess till here now but i'll end this with pictures. Enjoy!

Back for update.

2008-11-04T15:15:00.000-08:00

Heyss! Sorry lah for those who get bored because of reading the same entry over and over again. My apologies. So here im back for the update! Well, ive got lots of pictures to load. So, enjoy eh?
By the way, i know its kind of late to congratulate those who are promoted to the next level, but Congratulations! Hehe. Work harder for those who didnt make it ok? Believe in yourself and you can do it. So here are the pictures.

Raya with safzs<3, 27/10/08.

Class Bbq(31/10/08) and Overnight(31/10/08-01/11/08)

Where's my eyes? Hehe.

The class bbq was awesome! But the overnight with Kamila, Fadzil and Sharil was fabulous! Despite the heavy rain and we getting drenched because of trying to get our tent into place, we survived. Hehe. You guys should experience like us and you know how killing the cold is. Its like you're at the north pole. Oklah, not to that extent, but its so cold! Ok im done here. Lookng forward for another overnight with the class. Hehe. But this time, please pitch the tent under a tree? And yeah, when we came back from our strolling, we realised that our two tents were in an open space. That explains the pool in our tents. Hehe. Ok. Bye! Take care!

P.S. Looking forward for safzs movie marathon at my house tomorrow! Hehe.

more pictures!

2008-10-19T18:55:00.000-07:00

Hello there! More pictures coming up! Hehe. Oh before that, those people who are sitting for the O'level, all the best! Dont stress up on the day itself yeah? To my blood beloved sister, all the best. I know you can do it, you're gifted, as what most people said. Love you, ok? Hehe.

My open house, 11/10/08.

3e1,3e2 with some other friends raya outing, 13/10/08. Unfortunately, I only have one picture. And that is with someone i love. Hehe.

Zubaidah. I love you Zub!

Heys.

2008-10-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

Hey there people. How you guys been doing? Hmm. Hows your results? Good? Bad? Congratulations to those who did well. And for those who didnt, try harder next time alright? Dont give up. Practice makes perfect, right? Hehe.

I got a number of pictures to share with you guys. Hehe. Do enjoy yeah?

First day Raya.

You guys want to see more photos? Wait for the next entry yeah? Hehe. Takecare people. See you guys around!

Slamat Raye

2008-09-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

Hello there guys. Ive abandon my blog for quite some time. This is due to the exams coming. And Raya! Haha. Im so excited for Raya but i had to keep down the excitement because of exams. Hehe.

I have the sense of urgency to go back my house. Why? Because i miss my family over there. I want to go home now, but i know i wouldnt last long there. So i think i just drop by and do what i am supposed to do.

Before signing off, I wanted to wish all the Malays/Muslims Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Dan Batin. If ive cause hurt to you, im really sorry. Do forgive me yeah? If not, its ok. Hehe. And oh, all the best to people who are sitting for exams yeah. Goodbye people. See you guys soon!

P.S. i miss sakinah.

Pics

2008-09-03T15:30:00.000-07:00

Heys! Hello! Hmm. Ive changed my number people! Finally peace.hehe. If you want my new number, ask me through msn or if you bump me in school,ask me!hehe. Take care people. Eh wait. Enjoy some pictures!

Kaiwen<3

The people that i really2 miss.

The one that has my initial,Suriatiee. I miss you. I love you.

heys

2008-08-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

The previous entry was kind of harsh. But i guess i kept it for a long time. So i just typed out everything impulsively.

A great crazy smart friend of mine is admitted in a hospital. I hope she's fine. Get well soon babe. Come back to school soon! I love you.

These are the two people i can count on! I love you two!

They are the ones that went through thick and thin with me. Thanks for everything guys. I love you guys.

pissed off

2008-08-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

I really despised if people that stays in my house criticise my family. For goodness sake,look at you guys,you are just staying for two or three months,according to my dad, and you have already taken it for granted. And when my dad said only for two or three months,im counting the days when you guys are moving out. Dont ever think that you are going to live in my house longer. And if you're reading this and you get offended,im sorry. Im only going to hurt you guys once through this post.
Please,dont accuse my sister of loitering unnecessarily when she comes home late. She has a very good reason for coming home late. For goodness sake, she might be the blacksheep for the family,but that doesnt mean she isnt a good role model for me. That doesnt mean she wants me to follow all her wrongdoings. And yes,she's an excellent sister to me. If you cant see that, dont judge her as you like!
This is a random post. Ive been hurt verbally by them countless of times and im going to hurt them once through this entry.

birthdays

2008-08-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

Today is somehow special day eh. 08.08.08. You know why? Because its the beginning of the olympic games. Haha. Ok,fake. I mean its true but thats not the reason why im posting this entry.

Its his birthday. Who is he? My dad. Haha. Ok no. For me to know and for you to find out.
And to that guy. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ehem. 51years old already eh? Haha.

And to this girl who i wished her yesterday,sorry for the late wish. I know its kind of late,really late. Gosh,i really miss hanging out with you and stuff. Can we be usual friends again? Noraina,i miss you.

For the upcoming birthday,hmm. I wonder who.Haha. Evil eh atie. Its NURUL'S BIRTHDAY! WEEEEEEEEEEEE! I cant wait for the party seh this sunday.hehe.

Enough of birthday wishes. I would like to tell you guys a hilarious short story. Well. Maybe its not hilarious to you,but it is to me. Haha. Ok.

Here goes,
I was running the second round for 2.4km run. While running towards the staircase of the classroom blocks, I looked on the ground as i was panting. I saw something greenish that laid stationarily. I thought it was a handful of grass. My classmate,Jiale,was running behind me. Suddenly,that greenish object moved. And i jumped as high as i could. It was a chameleon. Imagine lah, you were panting and still have the energy to jump so high? Jiale was already laughing at me. Haha. My reaction was somehow funny,i guess. Haha. Ok thats all.

2008-07-19T18:10:00.000-07:00

Ok so. Yesterday was Sufie's birthday. But we celebrated it the day before yesterday as we knew friday wouldnt be a good time.

The surprise was a success! I had to give a reason to go to the minimart nearby while the rest prepared for the surprise. I had to pretend nothing happened for quite a long time you know. At last,received a texted message from Sha saying they were all ready. While walking towards them at the void deck,they covered up the cake and pretend as though they were studying. Hilarious. As Sufie came nearer,we sang him a birthday song. He was flattered! Because he claimed that he didnt suspect anything. Then we realised that we are good actors. Haha. Ok,kidding. Overall,we had a blast! The first picture was his birthday present. Do you think its nice?Hehe.

The days

2008-07-11T23:17:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh,gorgeous siblings i have in a roof. This picture was taken at our cousin's solemnization day last week. I love this picture because somehow to me,it resembles love and how close we really are. And I LOVE THEM.

Hmm.Ok.So,friends and myself had sorted things out. Not that we fought or something. Well. Somehow they sensed something is not right with me. Because everytime the bell rang,I would always head home first,leaving them behind with offended feelings. And they realised that i was too quiet and secretive. But,their thoughts never came across my mind that way. Of course they sensed it,because they are my bestfriends. So,they had their say. They really let everything out. I understood their feelings. Never am i going to neglect them again. Because I love and need them always in my life. As long as they're happy,im happy too!
Anyway,one of my bestfriends' birthday is coming up! Really excited about it! Though its going to be a short one because it falls on a friday,we're still going to have alot of humorous time!

And yeah. Two days after my bestfriends' birthday,its her birthday. You dont have to know why i addressed that person as 'her'. Because the story behind it is too hurtful. So, to that person,well,fat chance that she's going to read my blog, HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY. I know its way too early,but just in case.

Engagement

2008-06-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

Ok.There's actually more pictures on my brother's engagement day,but i only found these two. Brother looked either fierce or he doesnt know how to smile.Hehe. The second one,yup,that's his fiance. Gorgeous eh? So yeah,its over. Brother is officially engaged and now im just waiting for his solemnization and wedding days! Eh abg,dont take too long ah. I want to be the owner of your bedroom!

Our childhood faces.Haha. I know its kind of hilarious to see my friends and myself faces when we were younger. But i guess there's a major change in our faces eh? Except for me!Hehe. What do you think?

Since school has already started, I just want to focus on my studies. Some things has to be pushed aside. All my mind is telling me is to study study and study. And i will study!

Solemnization and wedding

2008-06-11T19:15:00.000-07:00

Wedding.

There are alot of pictures but i think this is enough to prove that my cousin's married!Haha. It was tiring ok for the two days. Gosh. But it had already ended! They are officially husband and wife on the 8th june! Wee.

Next on the list is my brother!Ok its a lie. He's going to get engaged this 21st. Ah,the word is engaged.Haha,been thinking of the english word of 'tunang' lately. Ok so. My brother is going to have a fiance and thats a great news because i can ask for his fiance out if only my sisters arent free.hehe. Thats a really huge advantage eh?hehe.

Can't wait for tomorrow's outing and also friday's. Really,im going to have fun for these two days! After that,must complete my assignments,which is alot. Plus,I want to catch Narnia next week. Watching it by myself,i guess,at the nearest movie theatre,Lot1.hehe.

Kuantan trip

2008-06-11T13:15:00.000-07:00

These are some of the pictures during our educational trip. There are more actually but its in other people's camera or phone. Man it was hilarious and fun!hehe. I wont be elaborating much because im indolent.hehe. Let me briefly described what I was excited about on the first day. On the first day,at night,rode the boat to see fireflies. While in the boat,i looked at the sky filled with billions of stars. I stared and wished that i spot a shooting star so that i could make a wish. And yeah,i did spot a shooting star! Gosh. I made a wish. Do you want to know? Haha. You dont have to know because i think you would already know. Ok. Thats it. Everything else was magnificent! Haha.

I'll update soon for my cousin's solemnization and wedding.

P.S. Hey there girl, you know who you are. Everything is going to be fine ok. You are confused now,but you wont later. Just find some space and sort yourself out ok. I believe you can let go of the past. Not so soon but you must. Take care. Im always here for you. I miss you lah. Love ya.

I still love you...

2008-05-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

Had my report book and the slip. Amendment was made to my result. So,i only have one failed subject and my amaths and malay grades stayed the same,which means i improved nothing for that two subjects. Man,i need to work harder. Class and level position aint satisfying. I hope dad is satisfied when i show him my report book,maybe a day before school re-opens?hehe.

Oh yeah,sports day,had a blast with the fantastic four,atiqah,sufie,fadzil and myself.Haha. We were the most energetic and enthusiastic people when it came to the prize giving ceremony. We cheered for the events that wahoo had won. When his name was announced,lightning struck me. Haha,yeah right. I cheered though it was kind of hard. Sufie and Sharil were the ones that pulled me up. Nurul and Zahidah didnt turn up,its kind of incomplete without them because i need all of them to present to pick me up and stand strong with me.

Recently,i met my brother with his future fiance and my eldest sister. Brother is physically fine. He still have his bandaged on his hand. He already took off his bandaged on his right arm. And its red.hehe.

Holidays are already here. And my plan is to study and abit of rest in between. Yup. Kuantan trip will be on 2-5june. Cant wait?yeah. My cousin's marriage on the 8th, brother's 'tunang' on the 21st. And not to forget,my class chalet on the last week of the holidays,i think,but not yet confirmed. So,yeah,i believe i have alot of free days.hehe. Going to spend it wisely.

I think i just stop here because ive got nothing else to say.

Boy,ive been thinking about you day by day. Somebody,help me to make me forget about him.

hey..

2008-05-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

Sufie,Nurul and me had a blast watching movie titled 'Ayat-Ayat Cinta' last monday at the Causeway Point. The first picture is us after the movie. The movie was terrific. Except for the fact that a person,to be specific,a name distracted me. It pulled my mood down,but they pulled my mood up again. Sweet yeah.hehe.

The second picture is my brother,playing my guitar. Its his gift for my birthday. Actually,the point here is not about my guitar,but about him. I just got the news that he met with an accident again. Its not fatal and maybe its not serious. However,second sister said that his knee and arms were bandaged,his mouth somehow distorted? Im not sure about his mouth,but somehow its a really bad news you know. How do you feel if your brother or someone in your family meets with an accident countlessly? Yeah,im not sure how many times he met with an accident, but he's fortunate enough that he didnt die. hehe. Whats the purpose of me typing this? Its because i want him to know that i love him,my real blood brother. And to end this portion,i really love my family though sometimes i hate their character.

Results are out and its disappointing. Lets just say that i failed two subjects. But, i improved my amaths and malay by one grade. I know its only one grade,but atleast its an improvement! Right?hehe. From my mid-year results,i will plan my life carefully.

Noraina,i miss you. I wish we could hangout like before yeah. Im sorry too yeah.

As much as it hurts to know that you like somebody else,im still not letting you go but i will be standing strong in future.

You're not a star

2008-05-10T16:45:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ZAHIDAH! I hope you had a blast with us yeah yesterday. The surprise could be a success if you didnt turn around!hehe.

And oh. Of course I wont forget my beloved godsister,Aniz! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to you too! I miss you lah. Wish you all the best in life ok. Dont be a naughty kid.hehe.

Exams over and its a relieved. However,results are horrifying me. I messed up the papers again.

[Dad,Im sorry if im going to disappoint you badly. I promised you,i already did my best. Im really sorry.]

Ok,i want to let go. But tell me how! My heart is still holding tight,refusing to let go. Its harder than what i thought. Damn it,im getting weak again. But,im not dragging my friends' mood down ok. As long as they're happy,im happy too,i hope.

P.S. Its because i still love you a lot,thats why.

2008-04-18T22:05:00.000-07:00

Be the first three customers to spot me and win $10 each. :)

Its already proven that my wish are not going to be fulfilled. There were disagreements among us and yeah the decision is final i guess. Well,maybe as time passes by and slowly their heart is open, they will accept that particular person back. Let time heal.

"Wakeup seh atie! You're living in reality! You're not living in dreamworld. All those dreams you're dreaming of wont come true."

I want those back.

2008-04-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

Before safzs, there were safz, before safz, there were safz but with that someone. I know its harsh for us to hurt her heart verbally, but I believe we don't really mean it. What I'm trying to convey is that, I want the 5 of us to get back together again like before, of course with sha too. What I dont want is for us to separate and for me to make a choice. Yes, safzs had helped me alot and still helping. Safzs, can you guys accept that particular person back in our friendship? I know its hard, but can you guys try? I seriously want the 6 of us back together. Thats my wish I've been waiting for god to grant. Please safzs, agree with me once. Only for this and maybe some other things. But now its only this. If we work together, the friendship of the 6 of us is going to be a blast! Trust me guys for this, will you?

P.S. I've been wanting the 6 of us to be together,yup, tell me you guys will.

....

2008-03-31T21:47:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!!!!!!!! I hope you appreciate the gift I gave you though abg bought the same thing,but different brands yeah. I hope you had a blast yesterday with the family. And today,me and cousin ella had a last minute surprised for you. It was my idea. Though the cake does not taste as what I expected it to be,still I paid it. Please have the thoughts that I planned this surprise because I love you and so does cousin ella. If you still can't find ur true love,don't worry. You are not ready to start a new book yet. Take your time to recover ok sis. I love you,and so does everybody around you. I wish you the best in life.

I don't feel good this few days. I think I'm going to get sick again. And when I'm sick, my mood will get distrupted. This concerns safzs. I tried my best to maintain my mood,but it seem like I can't. I think I have to try harder.

I want to be the happiest person in the wide world. But I don't know how am I suppose to gain it. Do I really need him back so that I can get my happiness back? I don't know. I have my happiness with safzs but I'm unsure of what else my heart wants. Can't deny its him. But friends keeps denying. I think I need both of my friends and him. Of course my friends are much more important than him. I'm still in a state of confusion. When will I wake up?

Miss these people.

2008-03-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

Hello readers! How are you guys doing yeah? Great?

Here are some pictures which i miss them terribly. If I forgot about you,I'm real sorry.

British.

Afifah and Kathy.

Ex-Westviewers.

FARAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Khai.

And suprisingly,him.

I know people could get over a breakup fast,unless they love the person endlessly. Yup,thats me. Though i told him few days ago, "You dont want me back,and i dont want you back", I still want him back! Because my love for him is still burning strong. Safzs might be severely unhappy if they heard about this.
I know in my previous entry,i wrote that he might considering of taking me back, but,he changed his mind. How do i know it? Because it was foolish of me to msged him few days back. His replied messages made my delicate heart broke into pieces. He was trying very hard to make me hate him,but i think he failed. I don't know.

Safzs,i need you guys every second now.

I MUST GET HIM OUT OF MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But i cant.

..........

2008-03-16T15:30:00.000-07:00

The pics that we took the day we went for jogging and gym.

What do you say boy?

I found out that he's single. Two factors that i should follow so that he will consider of taking me back. However,on the other hand,he is interested with this girl he just knew. Should i wait for him? I'm confused. I'm lost. I dont know what decision to make. Any more advices that you think worth of me listening? Please tag. Thank you.

.......

2008-03-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm staying in today,maybe,because i'm broke. *Sorry Noraina that i kept dragging our date. I won't next time ok?*

Thursday was a humorous day for me! Safs,without zahidah, had a good jog from zhenghua park to zhenghua cc. Mostly we walked,lets say briskwalked? Haha. Ok. The jogging and walking took us only 30mins to reach zhenghua cc. Stayed in the gym for 3hrs! At first, it was hilarious to watch them using the equipment. As time pass by,they got hold of it. Overall,it was fun!

How am i suppose to show you that i really love you? Can't you see for yourself? I promised i've totally changed. Oh please take me back baby....
I know safzs won't agree of him taking me back. If i must make a choice of between safzs and him, i'll choose safzs. But,if you proved to them that you won't repeat your mistakes,maybe they'll agree. As for now,they don't.